I’M JUST SO TIRED OF LIVING WITHOUT JANE AND PAM AND HANNAH
I’M JUST SO TIRED OF LIVING WITHOUT YOU. <3
(tw eating disorder stuff)
today, at the shitty tourist trap restaurant where i work during the week, i took the order of an english businessman and his teenage son and daughter. the girl didn’t want anything. she asked me, “can i just get water? i’m not that hungry. but maybe just a piece of baguette with olive oil?” the father and son had ordered pizza and lasagna. i had this pit in my stomach, where like, i just knew. maybe i am projecting and maybe that is fucked up of me, but i have been there, i have been that 14 year old in a restaurant with her family who says, “oh no thanks” to the waitress. she looked cheery. i looked cheery. nothing wrong here oh god please dad don’t say anything in front of the waitress please no, i’m just not hungry.
and then when i went to put in the family’s order, my co-worker, the “maître de salle” told me “hey, ça va pas.” i had to go back and coerce the family to at least order a drink for her because “une commande de 35 euros, ça va pas pour une table de 3.” and i hated that he made me to do that and i gritted my teeth when i went back to explain, “i’m sorry, but my co-worker says that you have to at least order a drink.” and she said, “but i ordered water!” and her dad said, “well, that doesn’t cost money.” and then she seemed a bit panicked. we were looking at her. “oh oh okay i want a hot chocolate. with whipped cream?” i wanted to cry.
i’ve had food anxiety all day. i woke up and had food anxiety. i ate the free meal i get at work but i only ate part of it because my co-workers kept coming up to talk to me and i didn’t want them to see how i eat.
i bought a little snack cake as soon as i got out of work at 3pm and hoped that the sugar would make me feel full for the rest of the day. it didn’t of course cuz duh, it never does, but jane, you always wanna believe that it will cuz it feels so unjust to be hungry again when you’ve already had to make yourself eat once. when my stomach started growling around 6pm, i took a nap. when i woke up it was 8pm and i felt nervous and terrible so i forced myself to make food and here it is, a tomato lentil soup and some salad.
I see a lot of radical/feminist/queer communities assume that a mutual dislike of oppression is the same as family or friendship
But it isn’t hard to find women and queers with uniformly bad experiences. What is hard is to have empathy and understanding for each member of a community, to understand access needs, history, triggers, nuances of gender expression, personality, etc.
That is why these communities break down, because hating misogyny is not the same as loving other women.
free marissa now campaign update
This month of Domestic Violence Awareness is off to quite a start! Last Thursday, the Appeals Court overturned Marissa’s guilty verdict. On Saturday, we had a very productive national Free Marissa Now conference call, with many of you participating, that generated excellent ideas for how to proceed given this breakthrough. The strong feeling from everyone on the call was that it’s time to mount a full-on campaign to get the case dropped rather than putting Marissa through another trial. We are moving forward to implement this campaign.
After speaking to Florida legal experts, we have gotten an overview of what’s happening next.
From now until October 11, Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi has the opportunity to call on the Appeals Court to change its decision to reverse Marissa’s guilty verdict. This is called a rehearing. If Bondi doesn’t request a rehearing, the case will be returned to Jacksonville.
Beginning on October 11, the ball is in State Prosecutor Angela Corey’s court to move forward on the case or to drop it. This is the crucial period to get the case dismissed. We need to flood Florida with messages to drop the case.
You can start now to spread the word about the letter-writing campaign and collect letters to send in beginning October 11. The campaign will continue for approximately two weeks or until we hear of action one way or the other from Corey’s office. The focus is on Angela Corey, but we also need to push Florida Governor Rick Scott and Attorney General Pam Bondi to come out publicly for dropping the case.
Right now is also a great time to write letters to the editor about the case and to arrange for op-ed pieces in your local media to be published beginning on October 11.
Very soon, we will be getting you a sample letter, a link to a new online petition, and a statement on the Appeals Court ruling. Information on where to mail/fax/email or call is at the bottom of this letter. We want the state of Florida to know the whole world is watching and demanding justice for Marissa Alexander!
Meanwhile, we have the whole month ahead of Domestic Violence Awareness. Please spread the word about the #31forMARISSA campaign that is mobilizing men of all races share their thoughts on ending Domestic Violence. Send notes to firstname.lastname@example.org, for posting at the-swag-spot.tumblr.com. This creative campaign is cosponsored by Emotional Justice Unplugged, Chicago Taskforce on Violence Against Girls and Women, and Free Marissa Now. It is featured in Ebony Magazine!
There’s no need to wait until October 11 to do creative programs, teach-ins (here’s a sample curriculum from Project Nia), concerts, house parties and community assemblies on domestic violence, mass incarceration, and the importance of Marissa’s case to the right of women to self-defense.
Please write to FreeMarissaNow@gmail.com about your activities for the letter-writing campaign. We will post a calendar of those actions so that other people in your locale can help.
Our united movement is having a tremendous effect and we will continue until victory is won.
Freedom and justice for Marissa!
Angela Corey, State Attorney
220 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, FL 32202
Office of Attorney General Pam Bondi
State of Florida
The Capitol PL-01
Tallahassee, FL 32399-1050
Phone: 850-414-3300 or 850-414-3990
Office of Governor Rick Scott
State of Florida
400 S. Monroe St.
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001
Phone: 850-717-9337 or 850-488-7146
"Within women’s and gender studies, the language of intersectionality is often appropriated to mean putting together already existing theoretical frameworks, or including the experiences of those “left out” of white feminist projects, in a way that evades theoretical consideration of race altogether. Thus, grappling with intersectionality is often mistakenly reduced to a call to include the experiences of women of color. Sidestepping the challenge to feminism inherent in the theoretical and political project of intersectionality, this framework of inclusion fails to confront racism for a number of reasons.
First, to include women of color into women’s and gender studies leaves the core concepts of the field intact and suggests that the lives of women of color are just another area of study that can be analyzed in the same way that white women’s experiences have been. Rather than take seriously the theories of race and gender and the feminist politics that emerge when the experiences of women of color are centered, inclusion simply invites women of color into a project that has already been defined in relation to the experiences of white women (Alarcón 1991; A. Smith 2004). Instead of taking intersectionality as a call to fundamentally transform (or abandon) frameworks that cannot grapple with racial difference, inclusion frequently preserves those frameworks as they are by simply adding to them.
Second, inclusion often fails to take into account the relationality of different women’s experiences and instead repositions white women’s experiences as the norm from which experiences of women of color differ. As Elsa Barkley Brown notes, the point is not just that women of color and white women have different experiences but rather that racism is a structure of power in which ‘white women live the lives they do in large part because women of color live the ones they do (E. Brown 1992, 298).
Finally, including the experiences of women of color does not require the development of theoretical approaches that demonstrate how race is gendered and gender is raced beyond the scale of individual experiences. What emerges from inclusion is a focus on accounting for different identities rather than on critically interrogating the mechanisms of power by which particular identities are produced as such."
— Priya Kandaswamy (via wretchedoftheearth)
adventures with generalized anxiety disorder 2
but it turned out ok because the next bureaucrat i had to speak to understood why i was anxious and empathized with me and told me about this issue of astérix and obélix where they have to go to some bureaucratic office in rome & everything goes to shit. something about that gesture made me feel less monstrous and stupid & i will always feel so much gratitude towards strangers like her who are kind to me for no reason.